Read on for 50 witty, poignant, and just plain fam

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Read on for 50 witty, poignant, and just plain fam
1. “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
? Woody Allen
2. “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
? Oscar Wilde
3. “Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
? Mae West
MORE: The Beginner’s Guide to Kinky Sex
4. “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
? Frank Zappa
5. “It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”
? Jarod Kintz, $3.33
6. “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”
? Woody Allen
7. “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
? Barbara Bush
8. “I couldn’t possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!”
? Russell Brand
9. “My first time I jacked off, I thought I’d invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.”
? Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
10. “But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root: there is no God worth worrying about.”
? Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
11. “You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”
? Steve Martin
MORE: 10 Foods That Make Sex Better
12. “Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.”
? Deepak Chopra
13. “My mother told me that life isn’t always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.”
? Chelsea Handler
14. “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
? Lily Tomlin
15. “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”
? George Bernard Shaw
16. “Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
? George Burns
17. “How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.”
? Will Durst, political satirist
18. “Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”
? Marilyn Monroe
MORE: 35 Celebrities Who are Bisexual
19. “I remember the first time I had sex — I kept the receipt.”
? Graucho Marx
20. “My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.”
? Les Dawson
21. “The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.”
? Alfred Kinsey, biologist
22. “Sex is great until you die, but it’s never as great as it was when you were a k**, when it was a mystery.”
?David Duchovny
23. “I write about sex because often it feels like the most important thing in the world.”
?Jeanette Winterston
24. “You can’t talk about fucking in America, people say you’re dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that’s cool.”
? Richard Pryor
25. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
? Billy Crystal
26. “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”
? Johnny Carson
27. “I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”
? Joan Rivers
28. “Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.”
? Robert A. Heinlein, writer
MORE: 12 Unlikely Sex Symbols
29. “I need more sex, OK? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world.”
? Angelina Jolie
30. “I just feel like every k** is growing up too fast and they’re seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that’s fine for me. I’m not saying I don’t like it. But I don’t think it should be everywhere, where k**s are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there’s just no innocence left.”
? Ellen DeGeneres
31. “Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookie.”
? Alec Baldwin
32. “Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.”
? Jimmy Dean
33. “Sex is the driving force on the planet. We should embrace it, not see it as the enemy.”
? Hugh Hefner
34. “Sex is the best high. It’s better than any d**g. I want to die making love because it feels so good.”
? Bai Ling
35. “I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.”
? John Waters
MORE: Wealthy Women Have Better Sex: Study
36. “Sex is like money; only too much is enough.”
? John Updike, novelist
37. “You can’t have rock and roll without d**gs, you can’t have rock and roll without sex.”
? Rick James
38. “I have tried sex with both men and women. I found I liked it.”
? Dusty Springfield
39. “Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.”
? Marlene Dietrich
40.”To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.”
? Cary Grant
41. “I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.”
? Zsa Zsa Gabour
42. “Literature – creative literature – unconcerned with sex, is inconceivable.”
? Gertrude Stein
43. “I need sex for a clear complexion, but I’d rather do it for love.”
? Joan Crawford
44. “Kissing – and I mean like, yummy, smacking kissing – is the most delicious, most beautiful and passionate thing that two people can do, bar none. Better than sex, hands down.”
? Drew Barrymore
45. “Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.”
? Jackie Kennedy
MORE: The One Trick That’ll Instantly Make You Sexier
46. “This is the way I look at sex scenes: I have basically been doing them for a living for years. Trying to seduce an audience is the basis of rock ‘n roll, and if I may say so, I’m pretty good at it.”
? Jon Bon Jovi
47. “There’s no religion but sex and music.”
? Sting
48. “Sex is hardly ever just about sex.”
? Shirley MacLaine
49. “Maybe our generation is more about sex, but it feels like romance is dying out.”
? Orlando Bloom

50. “I want to wait to have sex until I’m married.”
? Britney Spears

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