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The Cunt Plumber
Mrs. Jacobs was dry again. Her husband, Harold, rubbed her pussy with his
thumb while gliding his other hand over her tits and belly.
How s that, honey? Do you like that, huh Gloria?
Gloria was in her late 30s, had a big, round ass, a wide set of hips, a pot
belly, and a large set of tits that Harold loved to see bounce around while he
fucked her. Gloria had a mature face. She was not a beauty queen or a fitness
model. She looked more like a teacher, or a maid. She had a body that was not
unlike many of the others in their neighborhood – an urban block of mostly
multi-family homes, close together.
Its nice , Gloria said, with a bit of bored tension. She really was enjoying
it, but there was something missing. She was a little too tense to really
enjoy it. She was having a hard time relaxing, and, of course, she had no
juices. Harold was going to have to break out the lube again. Usually, she ll
Mr. Jacobs didn t seam to be having a problem. His cock was hard, harder than
usual, in fact. Earlier that day, he got a glimps of his secretaries left
nipple as it slipped out of her top – a surprisingly elegant tube top with a
very colorful print of a single rose running up her right, something she likes
to wear on casual Fridays. Its not the first time its happened. Her nipples
are always hard as it happens, and her nipples stick out pretty far – at least
a half inch. Every time, she makes a sudden, awkward motion which pops one
out, then she looks over at him and pauses for just a couple seconds too long
before slowly putting her tit back in and giving a smiling sorry, Mr Jacobs .
Harold had a big, hairy pot belly and an average-sized dick. As he pounded
away, in and completely out of his wife s pussy, his head was so engorged, you
could hear a wet pop every time he slid his cock out of her lubed pussy
lips. Gloria liked it, too. She liked the sounds it made when its really lubed
up and he slides it all the way out.
Yeah, fuck my pussy , Gloria said, getting a little exited now, and ejoying
herself a little more.
Harold kept thinking about his secretary s nipple popping out. Was it on
purpose? , he asked himself. His mind raced. He imagined next time, maybe
she d accidentally pull it all the way down, showing both her breasts. Maybe
she d accidentally pull her skirt down, and maybe he d accidentally shove
his cock in her ass. The image was clear in his head as he closed his eyes –
him shoving his cock right up her ass. The image was too much for him to take,
and he blew his load all over his wifes stomach.
He gave his wife a kiss on the lips, laid down on his side, nearly passing
out, and said thanks .
Gloria had not cum, but this wasn t unusual. She doesn t cum most of the time.
Sometimes, when she s alone, she ll take out her vibrator, give herself an
hour, watch some internet porn, and she ll be able to cum, but she rarely cums
with Harold, now snoring on the bed, fast asleep.
Gloria thinks about breaking out her vibrator, but decides not to. She decides
that she really just needs somebody to talk to, so she gives her best friend
Harmony a call (yes, her parents were hippies).
Gloria. What s up? , answers Harmony.
Nothing much. Just wanted to talk.
Let me guess – you just had sex with Harold again and you didn t cum?
How did you… , Gloria was surprised, shocked even.
This isn t the first time. It usually takes a while to coax it out of you,
but when you re feeling like you just want to talk with that voice, and I can hear it in your voice, its usually because you re sexually frustrated.
Am I just getting old? I don t know, Harmony. Am I being selfish?
Gloria and Harmony talked back and forth for nearly an hour, and at the end,
Harmony finally decided to give Gloria the number .
This isn t something I do often, Gloria, but you really should call this guy.
He s a professional, and he ll work with both you and your husband to improve
your sex life. He s a personal friend of mine, and I trust him. He s a great
guy. Both you and Harold will love him. Trust me.
Gloria wrote down the number, but didn t call. This was, after all, a decision
that both her and her husband had to make, so she waited till the next day, at
The Next Day, the k**s had left for school, and Gloria was alone with Harold, and felt that now was a good time to talk about it.
So…. , she said.
Never mind. , she said, coyly.
What s on your mind, Gloria? .
Gloria paused. She didn t know how to start this conversation, so she just
explained what happened.
I gave Harmony a call last nigh, after you fell asleep.
Oh , Harold said. Harmony is very liberated, and Harold is a little stiff, so
they never really hit it off.
I told her about my problem, how I m not enjoying myself, in bed, the way I
I see . Harrold was a little self-conscious, but understood. He s not the
most skilled lover on the planet, and never really dedicated much time to
becomming one. He felt bad about this, and wanted his wife to be happy.
She gave me the number of a specialist.
A specialist? , his eyebrows raised. Harold liked the idea of a specialist. It sounded safe and official.
Harmony says the guy is great, and is a personal friend and trusts him. She
also said he is very professional and works with couples who are having the
kinds of problems we are. I thought I d give him a call. Make an appointment.
What do you say?
Sure. What s involved?
You know what? I don t know. Harmony wasn t specific. She said he helps,
though. She swears by him, and Harmony is multi-orgasmic.
OK. I don t see the problem. Call him up and schedule an appointment. What
does he call himself?
You re going to find this funny. He calls himself The Cunt Plumber.
Harold busts out laughing. That s some interesting marketing. Are you sure
this guy is legit? That sounds like it might be some punk k**. I don t
I thought the same thing, but Harmony swears by him. I d like to try it.
You know what? Fuck it. OK, fine. Make the appointment. Let s try it out. I m up for anything.
It was 10 minutes before the official start of the appointment when Harold heard a knock on the door and went to open it. As he opened the door, there stood a man dressed like a plumber, with a tool box, and a name tag that read Al . He had a thick, policeman s mustache, a big pot belly, and a round face.
Mario? , Harold asked.
Close. My name s Al. I m hear to look at your wife s pipes.
Oh, hi! You must be the…the plumber , Gloria said. For some reason, she was
expecting some hot young stud. The plumbers average appearance, strangely, made her much more comfortable. Come on in.
Where do you want to…
In the bedroom. , and the three started walking.
Gloria, Harold, and Al all stood around the bed. Harold and Gloria were visibly a little nervous.
I m going to have you folks sit down on the bed for now, and I just want to
ask you a few questions, but first, I have to give you a bit of a disclaimer –
a warning. In the next couple of hours, you re most likely going to experience
a wide range of emotions. Some things we do may make you feel uncomfortable,
or even angry. That s OK. We re going to learn how to express those emotions
in a way that will help both of you experience a level of intimacy that you
may have not thought possible. Its a wild ride, but I promise you that you
will be a stronger, closer couple at the end of it, and you will enjoy your
sexual relationship much more. Is that something you re interested in?
Both nod. Harold has a look on his face that shows he has some reservations.
Harold, my friend. This is going to be especially intense for you. After all,
I have to touch your wife in very intimate areas, and it takes a strong man to
accept that. On the bright side, I ll be showing you some things about your
wife s anatomy and some techniques that will help you show your wife the time
of her life. I also assure you that I will not do anything unless you both
clearly, verbally communicate your approval. OK?
Harold breathed a sigh of relief. OK, I m ready for anything. This is exiting, honey. , Harold said, getting semi-erect.
You re going to be touching me intimately? , Gloria asked. The thought of
that made her a little wet. The only other man who touches her down there is
her doctor, and even that gets her exited.
Of course, but I assure you that I will not do anything you don t want me to
do, and there will be plenty of opportunity to tell me to stop if you feel
uncomfortable. In fact, let s get started now. Please, get up Gloria. Harold,
please remain seated on the bed. I want you to face each other.
Al stood behind Gloria. I m going to start touching you now, and I want you
to be absolutely honest about how you feel – both of you. Its also important
that you both look each other in the eyes.
Al started to rub Gloria s shoulders through her white cotton blouse.
How does that make you feel, Gloria?
Uhhm, relaxed? , she asked, apologetically.
You don t feel relaxed. You feel very tense. How about you, Harold? How does
seeing another man touch your wife s shoulder s make you feel?
Harold shrugged his shoulders. No big deal , and it was true. It wasn t a big
deal for him.
When Gloria heard that, she relaxed a little.
Oh! You see that? You just relaxed a little. Less tight, less stress. How s
that feel now? Remember to breath , said Al. You too, Harold. Take slow, deep breaths.
Better. I feel good now. , Gloria said as she breathed out a large sigh and
dropped her shoulders.
Do you see what happened, Harold? , looking over to Harold, Your wife is
very concerned about you and your feelings, and is nearvous about hurting your
feelings. She s relaxing because she knows you are OK with this. Let s try
something else. I m going to massage your wife s breasts, and I want you both
to really ask yourself what you are feeling. Be honest with yourself, and tell
me what you think.
Al moved both his hands to Gloria s breasts and started rubbing them gently
over her blouse.
Gloria s eyes started to close and she let out a soft moan.
I feel a little uncomfortable , said Harold, as he saw his wife s tits being rubbed right in front of him.
That s good. Feel that emotion of discomfort. Explore it. Tell me more.
Ok… , Harold was caught off-guard. I feel…upset .
Al bounced his wife s boobs right in front of him. Go on. What are you upset
I feel like my wife is being violated.
Do you feel violated, Gloria? , Al asked.
I feel… , Gloria tried to put the right words together …aroused , a
pause, …ashamed .
Oh, that s good. Mixed emotions. That s normal. How about you, Howard? Do you
have any mixed emotions about this? , Al said, as he reached inside her blouse
and started playing with her tits inside. For instance, are you arroused at
all. Be honest.
It was true. He was having mixed emotions. This was going to be tougher than
he thought. Yes, I guess I am having some…mixed emotions.
That s perfectly natural. What I m going to need you to do now is to remove
Me? , asked Gloria?
No, I m going to need Harold to remove his clothes.
Wait…Why do I have to take off my clothes? asked Harold.
Both of you will have to take off your clothes. However, for reasons that are
purely psychological and are, frankly, difficult to explain, it is best if the
husband does it first.
Harold didn t want to remove his clothes, but felt obligated, and that seamed
liked a reasonable, if cryptic, explanation.
Harold did as he was told, and the embarassment combined with seeing Al play with his wife s juicy tits made his cock hard. Soon, however, Harold felt comfortable being the only one nude. He sat there, on the bed, with his cock hard, not daring to masturbate. He didn t know what to expect, but so far, Al was right. Mixed emotions. His wife was already arouse, and here nipples were sticking up through her blouse. He had a hard-on, and nothing really bad had happened. He trusted him a little more.
More moans came from Gloria as Al continued to massage her breasts. What am I
doing right now, Gloria? , asked Al.
Playing with my… Gloria trailed off.
Playing with your what? , asked all.
Is that what you call them? What do you like to call them, Harold?
Harold looked at the activity going on underneath his wife s blouse and mumbed
tits , his cock jumping up for quick second.
Are you enjoying watching me play with your wife s tits? Please, feel free to
masturbate. That s what this is for – for both of your enjoyment.
Harold started jerking off, slowly, as he watched.
Oh, my god , let out Gloria. She wasn t expecting this, but she was already
OK, great. We ve reached stage one already. You guys are doing fantastic. You
should be proud. Let s take off this top. . Gloria helped Al unbutton the
blouse as Hardold continued to jerk off. Her pot belly and hip fat overflowed
a little over her jeans, and Al snapped off the bra, letting her tits swing
out. Wow, look at these , Al said as he bounced them around aggressively,
squeezing the nipples, and grabbing all over. Look how juicy your wife s tits
are, Harold. How do you feel about me bouncing around your wife s juicy tits
Harold continued to jerk off, a little faster now, saying nothing.
Harold? , Al repeated, demanding an answer, shaking Gloria s tits.
I feel…horny , a pause, I feel…confused…nervous
Horny? Do you like that word? What about you, Gloria? Are you horny?
Gloria s hard nipples said it all, but she manage to say yeah… in a deep,
barely audible voice. She was losing a little control.
OK, fantasitic. Moving right along, I m going to need you, Gloria, to sit at
the edge of the bed and raise your skirt. . Gloria complied as Harold watched
on, stroking himself, wondering what will happen next.
Gloria was wearing large, white undergarments. Al moved his hand all over her
underwear. How do these underwear feel? Are they too tight? Do they feel good
up against your skin? . He moved his hand all over, occasionally moving over
the crotch and noticed that it was wet. What is this?
Both look at him, confused.
What do you like to call this?
Pussy? , blurted out Harold, as he continued to jerk off.
Good. , Al said, as he rubbed her wet spot through her panties. What about
when I take off her panties, like this , Al said as he lifted Gloria s legs up
in the air and pulled down her panties from beneath. He sat her back down and
spread her legs again, her pussy in plain view of both of the men, gliding his
hand all over teasingly, never touching her pussy.
A pussy? , Harold said, confused.
That s not what I m asking…here… , he paused, moving his hand to her
pussy, What about now? . He started rubbing Gloria s wet pussy in front of
her husband. What do you like to call it now? What am I playing with?
Harold was confused.
CUNT , Gloria blurted out, griding against his hand. You re playing with my
Very good. , Al said as he rewarded her by sticking a couple fingers inside
and jamming them vigorously, more than Harold likes to do. A little bit of
liquid squirted out.
You see that Harold? When I play with your wife s pussy over the panties, its
a pussy , but when I take her panties off and do this to it , he says as he
violently shoves three fingers into her cunt , it s her fucking wet cunt. How
do you feel about me playing with your wife s wet cunt, Harold?
Harold starts jerking off vigorously now, in silence.
Harold, come on now, we need to communicate. Tell me how much you like seeing
another man playing with your wife s wet cunt.
Oh, FUCK! , Harold stops jerking off to avoid blowing his load, then starts
up slowly again. I like it. …Al makes a motion to go on, I like it when
you shove your fingers into my wifes wet cunt.
That s just fantastic. , said Al. I m going to pull my pants down now .
Al pulled down his pants, revealing a massive hard-on. Gloria stared at it, mesmerized by it s size and girth. It must have been at least 10 inches. Possibly more. Al bounced his cock around in between Gloria s legs, looked over to Harold, and said, Look down, Harold.
Harold looked down at the cock dancing around against his wife s legs, and felt a deep shame in the bottom of his balls.
How do you feel about that, Harold?
Harold was silent, but the intensity in which he masturbated increased, and he bit his lip.
I m going to take that as an approval, Harold. I think you want me to fuck your wife, so I m going to.
Are you ready , Al asked Gloria.
Gloria felt a shiver going from her head right to her asshole. Fuck me , she muttered, as her hand began stroking her clit.
Al rythmically moved in and out of Gloria s wet cunt, right in front of her husband, as he sat there naked, and masturbating, watching another man s ass bouncing against his wife spread legs, his belly slapping against hers, the noise of sweaty, slapping fat flesh filling the room and making Harold s dick hard.
Who s cock is bigger, Gloria? , Al asked.
Gloria didn t want to say, but knew the question was obvious. Al was at least 2,maybe 3 times the size of Harold. Without any word from Gloria, who was having trouble consentration, he turned to Harold. Who s cock is bigger, Harold? Mine or yours?
Harold looked down at Al s massive dick, then looked down at his own, and saw a big difference. Yours . He continued to masturbate, just staring helplessly now.
See? Harold said it. Now it s your turn, Gloria. Whos cock is bigger?
Your cock is bigger , she muttered out, barely conscious now. Her sopping wet cunt didn t need any lube, even with this monster.
Say it again.
Your cock is bigger.
Bigger than whose?
You re cock is bigger than my husband s .
And what about your husband s cock? How do you feel about his little dick?
Oh my God. I m going to cum on your fat fucking cock.
That s wonderful. , said Al, but not just yet , he said as he opens up his tool box.
Al took out a strange looking device that had a tube going into a container.
First thing we need to do is clean you out a little.
He took one end of the device and lubed it up, then moved it in circles around
Gloria s asshole. How do you feel about that, Gloria?
I feel a little strange.
What do you like to call that? , Al asked.
Her dirty little shithole , blurted out Harold, to the surprise of Gloria.
You looked surprised, Gloria. , Gloria nods. You like that? You like it when
Harold calls it your dirty little shithole? , Gloria nods. You like
surprises? , again, she nods.
Al then shoves the device into her dirty little shithole, nice and deep, to
Gloria s surprise.
He flips a switch, and low humming can be heard, as well as some water flow.
OK, that s going to clean you out. Just let it run.
So, Harold. Do you like fucking your wife s dirty little shithole?
We used to do it once in a while, but then we just sortof stopped .
I see. Pain? , he looks over at Gloria.
Sometimes, but sometimes I like it .
I see. Well… the machine stops, and Al takes it out of her dirty little
shithole. We ll see if we can avoid that in the future.
First off, Harold, when you want to fuck your wife s dirty little shithole,
you need to first get her ready. That means using your fingers to do a little
anal play…like this. See what I m doing? .
Yes , Harold said, stroking his cock.
Tell me what I m doing to your wife s dirty shithole.
You re sticking your thumb inside.
Inside her dirty shithole
Inside who s dirty shithole?
Inside my wife s dirty shithole. , Harold was barely able to mutter under his
breath, embarassed and hard as a rock, stroking faster and faster, until he
couldn t resist. Open your mouth. Stick out your toungue , he commanded his
wife, and she obliged, to recieve his hot, sticky load all over her face,
taking her over the edge.
Oh, I m gonna cum , said Gloria. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Just then, Al slapped Gloria right across her fucking face.
Ooooh , moans Gloria, as waves of orgasm flow through her body, feeling the
sting on her face of where Al just slapped her, managing to mutter out This
was such a good idea, Harold , as her legs bucked back and forth, squirting
her juices all over Al s hard cock.
Before she finished cumming, Al jammed his cock in her ass, and let her
bucking asshole finish him off. Right before he came, he position his cock to
point right at her face.
Thank your husband for this. , Al commanded Gloria.
Thank you so much, honey , Gloria said, as Al shot his load all over her
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